Every day you make choices. You decide what is important, how you want to spend your time and who you want to spend your time with. There are people in your life that you take care of and you give so much of yourself to that you run on empty. You give 150% at work because you know if you don’t do it, it won’t get done the right way. “No” isn’t a part of your vocabulary when it comes to helping someone else or going above and beyond for others. When it comes to caring for yourself, “No” is one of the top words in your vocabulary. Why is that???
Putting yourself, what does that mean? Does that mean you are selfish, self-centered, a bad wife, or bad mother? Does it make you less of a real woman if you take care of yourself before caring for others? Women were raised to believe that their job/role in life was to be a wife and mother, nothing more and nothing less. Women who wanted more than being a wife and mother or didn’t want either were looked poorly on because they didn’t fit into the norms society had chosen for them. Women were taught to sacrifice their lives, happiness, wants and dreams, their essence in order to care for a home, a husband and her children and that they didn’t have any needs of their own.
What do you want? How do you want to feel? What is important to you? Do you put yourself first? Do you feel guilty when you do something for yourself?
Here’s a little experiment, shut off your phone or put it on silent for an hour and just take time for yourself. You are already stressing about missing a call or text or email in that hour aren’t you? You are probably thinking, what if someone needs me? Big fear… What if there is an accident and they can’t get ahold of me? Guess what, they will leave a message, the text will still be there and the email will still be there, they aren’t going away. Way back before cell phones if you were out and about no one could reach you until you got home and could answer the phone or they left a message on your machine. It is okay to disconnect from time to time to take care of you.
A woman who makes herself a priority is a very different kind of woman. She is a woman who truly values herself and knows that in order to be at her best she must make time for herself. Other women, those who don’t know their own true value, sometimes see women who take time for themselves as selfish, uncaring or less than. In reality though, most of them are envious of those women because they feel stuck and that they could never take time for themselves because that would mean taking time away from their obligations– children, husband, household chores, work responsibilities and any other committments they had made. Taking time for themselves would make them a bad wife, mother, employee, etc.
By taking time for yourself and making yourself a priority, you are not only refilling your tank, you are helping to break those energetic chains that have held women in these roles. You are helping to pave the way for other women, you are a trailblazer!
You are an important person, infact, you are the most important person in your life and you deserve to be loved, valued and taken care of and that starts with you. If you do not value and love yourself enough to take care of you, no one else will either. You have to care about yourself first.
Taking the first step to put yourself first is the hardest step, you will most likely get some push back because that may mean you have to say no to someone else’s needs. THAT’S OKAY!! The more you begin to make yourself a priority the more opportunities will be presented for you to cancel or reschedule your plans to take care of someone else’s needs. These opportunities are God’s way of checking in with you to see what it is you really want, you can call them tests if you like. At first, you may cancel or reschedule because you feel guilty, there will come a point finally, when you realize you must take care of yourself first. Taking care of yourself first isn’t selfish, it is a necessity. If you always put others’ needs first and your needs last you will end up running on empty. Running on empty in turn creates anger, frustration and resentment. You may get angry that your husband, boss, children, or friends don’t ever give you a break they always want something from you, but who are you really angry at? You. Why are you angry with yourself? You are angry with yourself because you didn’t make yourself a priority but you want others to. If you can’t make yourself a priority, why would someone else?
Whether you have children of your own or not, you are a role model for girls in your life. Showing these young ladies that the most important thing a woman can do is care for herself is such an important message.
When I first started putting myself first, I felt so guilty and that I was such a horrible mom and I actually cried (I am the super emotional type). I continued to take care of myself with regular energy sessions, to help me clear what is no longer serving me; massages, to help relieve the tension my body holds; spending time with friends; and teaching oil classes-even though this was to help others learn how to care for themselves naturally, it feeds my soul to serve others. Now, when I schedule time for an energy session, spending time with my friends, teaching an oil class or just having time to myself doing nothing important, I don’t feel guilty or cancel my plans for someone else’s needs anymore. I still get tested by God, to see if I am going to continue to make my self-care a priority and unless it is an emergency situation, I keep my self-care plans. I keep those plans because I am important and I need to come first. Knowing that I am important and making self-care my first priority has shown my husband and children that I value myself and has taught them to value themselves. My self-care has even shown my mom that it is okay for her to take care of herself and make her needs a priority as well.
What better gift to share with your family than the value you hold for yourself and in turn that they hold within themselves.
Until next time.
Sending you love and hugs,